🥡 Chinese Kitchen x Uber Eats First-Timer: Citrus Choirs, Honey Hallelujahs & Portions That Defy Physics 😏🔥
If you’ve ever wondered what true “fast” food looks like, Chinese Kitchen just broke the speed limit. This was my first time ordering from Chinese Kitchen on Uber Eats, and I’ve already decided this will be my go-to spot for Chinese takeout. The food? Unbelievably good. The portions? Unbelievably huge. The service? Unbelievably quick. From tap to table, the whole saga took under 20 minutes. I barely had time to pick a Netflix show before the doorbell did a drum solo.
The Lineup: Double Meals, Bonus Wing, Big Rice Energy 🍚🍗
I went in with intention and left with a full week of leftovers. I ordered the orange chicken meal and the honey chicken meal—each packed with a heaping mound of fried rice and a chicken wing redder than a stop sign (bro looked like he just left a paint booth). On top of that, I grabbed a medium house-fried rice and a small order of bourbon chicken skewers. “Small” and “medium” are clearly just vibes here—whoever packed these boxes believes in abundance.
Orange Chicken: Real Zest, Real Love, Zero Misses 🍊
I’m an orange chicken truther, so that’s where I started—and it did not disappoint. You get fresh orange citrus in every bite, a signature sweet glaze that hits just right, and chicken cooked perfectly—not a single piece was over- or under. Bonus points for the actual orange peel/zest in the sauce, which turns “good” into “singing in the car with the windows down.” The fried rice beside it? Solid as ever. Honestly, I’ve never had a bad Chinese fried rice; you’d have to try really hard to mess that up—like burning a bowl of cereal. Flavor A-, portion A++. They crammed so much food into that “regular” container that it barely closed. If this is regular, I don’t want to see the large. My fridge isn’t insured for that kind of impact.
Honey Chicken: Sweet Mercy & a New Rice Ritual 🍯
The honey chicken came through like a choir in gold robes. You can tell they use real honey—there were tiny bits of undissolved honey collecting around the base like sweet treasure. I did what any curious foodie would do and mixed the fried rice with the honey glaze. Instant revelation. Why have I never done this? It’s my new thing now—like picking a chip flavor to go with rice, except this one makes angels hum.
House-Fried Rice: Bet the House On It 🏠💥
This house rice is the reason people write love letters to carbs. It’s stacked with chicken, beef, pork, shrimp, and egg—a full roster playing on a zesty fried rice field. I ordered a regular and got an entire three-compartment styrofoam clamshell filled to the brim like it was my birthday. I ate, I rested, I made a whole new meal from the leftovers. If the flavor doesn’t convert you, the value will. Chinese Kitchen doesn’t just feed you—they invest in your future meals.
Bourbon Chicken Skewers: Flavor On Lock, Texture With Attitude 🥢
The bourbon chicken skewers were excellent, but I’ll keep it real: the outside had a bit of toughness. Could be by design, could be the sauce tightening up as it cooled—because once it congealed, the inside stayed tender and savory. No extra dipping needed; the seasoning and sauce were already on point. I still experimented—
plain, honey-dipped, orange-dipped—and all three worked. Next time, I might try a version without a heavy coating to see if it keeps the chew down.Speed, Service & Portions: The Triple Threat ⚡
Under 20 minutes from order to door? That’s superhero logistics. Portions that flirt with gravitational collapse? That’s hospitality. Flavor that actually matches the hype? That’s Chinese Kitchen. The value-per-bite here is borderline unreasonable—in the best possible way.
Verdict: 10/10 — My New Default Chinese Takeout 🏆
I thought about knocking a point for the skewer toughness—but honestly, that felt more like a sauce texture thing than a kitchen mistake, and the interior was still juicy. Plus, they offer different flavors on the skewers, so I’ll just switch up the style next time and keep it moving.
Order This Again?
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Absolutely: Orange Chicken (real citrus, perfectly cooked)
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Absolutely: Honey Chicken (and mix that sauce with rice—trust)
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Mandatory: House-Fried Rice (meat medley + mega portion)
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Yes, with a tweak: Bourbon Chicken Skewers (try a lighter glaze if you want less chew)
Final Score: 10/10. Chinese Kitchen is now the Chinese takeout plug. If you’re hungry, value-driven, and flavor-motivated, welcome home.
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